I've been thinking about this so much recently and I've honestly been isolating myself because of it. The state of feminism is terrifying. Also OF is once again being called out for fostering CP and Trafficking. It's such a joke that we've bought into this idea that sex work and porn is empowering for anyone. It's terrifying and fosters real violence and predation. And I'm scared.
THANK YOU for writing everything I’ve been thinking about these topics. I could never understand how sex work, Onlyfans or pornography could be considered "empowering." I used to think I was the problem for finding it disturbing or weird especially when it’s being encouraged and even celebrated by so many. You can’t criticize these things without being labeled as having "internalized misogyny" so I always kept my thoughts to myself.
But calling it empowering is nonsense. People can do whatever they want with their bodies but let’s not pretend it’s empowering or powerful. At the end of the day, it still caters to male pleasure whether it’s a choice or not, the dynamic doesn’t change. And once something is online, it stays there forever!! which makes it even scarier to see how willingly some people participate in it. This type of feminism feels like it’s ruining the movement's image. It makes me not even want to associate with it.
It’s also sad that "feminism" is constantly tied to sex and body when there are women around the world still struggling for basic human rights. For example, women in Afghanistan are being banned from speaking in public. As a society, we’re so focused on the wrong issues and slapping the "feminism" label on things that overshadow much more serious problems.
I totally agree with you, the fact that there are people celebrating the oppression of women in the sex industry is wild when there are women being literally silenced. I am considering writing about the women in Afghanistan, it is truly dystopian what's happening.
Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts!! <3
appreciated this! i’m reminded of the quote from andrea dworkin - “Many women, I think, resist feminism because it is an agony to be fully conscious of the brutal misogyny which permeates culture, society, and all personal relationships.”
to embrace a form of feminism that recognizes the harms of porn and sex work is to acknowledge that there ARE harms, and that women are actively engaging in harmful behavior, too. it’s like a house of cards - once one piece of modern feminism falls, there goes the rest. awareness is a curse, ignorance is bliss!!!!
Thank you for reading! That is such a great quote.
And yes, it is so brutal as feminists to acknowledge the harmful behavior of women too but it is impossible not to in this discussion on the harms of porn and sex work. It is like a safety net to resist or reject feminism as a woman because seeing and engaging in it can be unbearable and uncomfortable - I definitely find the things I read painful sometimes but I thrive on the anger I feel lol
I absolutely enjoyed reading your essay! I have been thinking about this lately and the false notion of choice (particularly as it relates to casual sex). Do we as women really enjoy casual sex or are we pretending to under the guise that we’re expressing our sexuality?
That's a really interesting point, I think the false notion of choice is so strongly associated with pornography and the things we are conditioned to enjoy such as casual sex. I'd like to do research on that though because I have never properly thought about it.
I loved reading this - 100% agree with everything. It almost feels like feminism is somehow now centred and catered to men again, when sex work and pornography are praised as ‘empowering’. Anyone who looks at a woman being slapped and choked and called a bitch, and thinks ‘wow! She looks so empowered!’ does not have the basic intelligence to have a voice in feminist spaces.
I was thinking about this topic just the other day, I saw a clip from the documentary and was absolutely horrified, you summarised my feelings perfectly here. I’m looking forward to reading your future essays on this topic, this was brilliant as always!
I completely agree with your take. Sex work should not be glamorized. It is not empowering and it is exploitative. What’s even scarier is the way these only fans girls are attracting minors towards what they do.
Yes, yes and yes! I also was introduced to the issue by 70s and 80s literature (Dworkin precisely) and have continued to find it troubling how normalized it has become. Even with conversations with my female friends they make me feel like an outcast for not feeding into the idea the OF is liberating and that men belong in feminism. A very young me had also internalized those ideas because that’s why we are told. I hope this topic gets discussed more and we can find support in ourselves rather than opposing views.
This is so interesting,I would recommend watching Candace Owens interview with Lily Phillips where she delves into how disempowering it is. She also brings in a religious perspective for any one interested!
So important. This is truly a stunning piece and adds depth to an opinion I already had but didn’t feel I could justify without seeming anti-woman or anti-sex worker. I think it’s another one of those things where you hate the system, not necessarily all the individuals using it to their benefit or for mere survival (ie. workplace discrimination & especially transphobia pushes vulnerable people into these industries in order to make any money for themselves). Obviously people who romanticize the popular (but rare in actuality) stereotype of OF leading to a life of luxury need to be checked, but in some ways even the most privileged women engaging in the porn industries are victims of the system too in their own way. Anyway, super thoughtful and well-written essay. 💛
This is such a different and welcoming perspective putting into words what I have always felt. It is so hard to make some see this different angle "Is it really a choice if one's living is depended on it?"
I've been thinking about this so much recently and I've honestly been isolating myself because of it. The state of feminism is terrifying. Also OF is once again being called out for fostering CP and Trafficking. It's such a joke that we've bought into this idea that sex work and porn is empowering for anyone. It's terrifying and fosters real violence and predation. And I'm scared.
It's awful!! Not a single porn site is free from CP and trafficking, it's mind blowing that people still find ways to defend it.
Thank you for reading
THANK YOU for writing everything I’ve been thinking about these topics. I could never understand how sex work, Onlyfans or pornography could be considered "empowering." I used to think I was the problem for finding it disturbing or weird especially when it’s being encouraged and even celebrated by so many. You can’t criticize these things without being labeled as having "internalized misogyny" so I always kept my thoughts to myself.
But calling it empowering is nonsense. People can do whatever they want with their bodies but let’s not pretend it’s empowering or powerful. At the end of the day, it still caters to male pleasure whether it’s a choice or not, the dynamic doesn’t change. And once something is online, it stays there forever!! which makes it even scarier to see how willingly some people participate in it. This type of feminism feels like it’s ruining the movement's image. It makes me not even want to associate with it.
It’s also sad that "feminism" is constantly tied to sex and body when there are women around the world still struggling for basic human rights. For example, women in Afghanistan are being banned from speaking in public. As a society, we’re so focused on the wrong issues and slapping the "feminism" label on things that overshadow much more serious problems.
By the way, I loved this post ♡
I totally agree with you, the fact that there are people celebrating the oppression of women in the sex industry is wild when there are women being literally silenced. I am considering writing about the women in Afghanistan, it is truly dystopian what's happening.
Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts!! <3
appreciated this! i’m reminded of the quote from andrea dworkin - “Many women, I think, resist feminism because it is an agony to be fully conscious of the brutal misogyny which permeates culture, society, and all personal relationships.”
to embrace a form of feminism that recognizes the harms of porn and sex work is to acknowledge that there ARE harms, and that women are actively engaging in harmful behavior, too. it’s like a house of cards - once one piece of modern feminism falls, there goes the rest. awareness is a curse, ignorance is bliss!!!!
Thank you for reading! That is such a great quote.
And yes, it is so brutal as feminists to acknowledge the harmful behavior of women too but it is impossible not to in this discussion on the harms of porn and sex work. It is like a safety net to resist or reject feminism as a woman because seeing and engaging in it can be unbearable and uncomfortable - I definitely find the things I read painful sometimes but I thrive on the anger I feel lol
Thank God the whole internet doesn’t sound like Reddit on this issue.
I absolutely enjoyed reading your essay! I have been thinking about this lately and the false notion of choice (particularly as it relates to casual sex). Do we as women really enjoy casual sex or are we pretending to under the guise that we’re expressing our sexuality?
Thank you so much for reading!!
That's a really interesting point, I think the false notion of choice is so strongly associated with pornography and the things we are conditioned to enjoy such as casual sex. I'd like to do research on that though because I have never properly thought about it.
what a coincidence this is what i’ve been thinking and writing about too
I loved reading this - 100% agree with everything. It almost feels like feminism is somehow now centred and catered to men again, when sex work and pornography are praised as ‘empowering’. Anyone who looks at a woman being slapped and choked and called a bitch, and thinks ‘wow! She looks so empowered!’ does not have the basic intelligence to have a voice in feminist spaces.
I was thinking about this topic just the other day, I saw a clip from the documentary and was absolutely horrified, you summarised my feelings perfectly here. I’m looking forward to reading your future essays on this topic, this was brilliant as always!
It really is horrifying!! I definitely have so much more to say on the topic.
Thank you for reading <3
Thank you for writing this- it’s so well articulated and carefully handled! I know this is such a tricky topic to discuss
Thank you Faith!!
so sad! i’m with you, it’s sickening and not empowering
I completely agree with your take. Sex work should not be glamorized. It is not empowering and it is exploitative. What’s even scarier is the way these only fans girls are attracting minors towards what they do.
Yes, yes and yes! I also was introduced to the issue by 70s and 80s literature (Dworkin precisely) and have continued to find it troubling how normalized it has become. Even with conversations with my female friends they make me feel like an outcast for not feeding into the idea the OF is liberating and that men belong in feminism. A very young me had also internalized those ideas because that’s why we are told. I hope this topic gets discussed more and we can find support in ourselves rather than opposing views.
This is so interesting,I would recommend watching Candace Owens interview with Lily Phillips where she delves into how disempowering it is. She also brings in a religious perspective for any one interested!
Thank you! I have only seen a couple of short clips from the interview but I will definitely watch the whole thing.
This was such a wonderful and fiery read for my Sunday morning, I love your words to bits! x
Thank you, that's so lovely to hear x
So important. This is truly a stunning piece and adds depth to an opinion I already had but didn’t feel I could justify without seeming anti-woman or anti-sex worker. I think it’s another one of those things where you hate the system, not necessarily all the individuals using it to their benefit or for mere survival (ie. workplace discrimination & especially transphobia pushes vulnerable people into these industries in order to make any money for themselves). Obviously people who romanticize the popular (but rare in actuality) stereotype of OF leading to a life of luxury need to be checked, but in some ways even the most privileged women engaging in the porn industries are victims of the system too in their own way. Anyway, super thoughtful and well-written essay. 💛
i’m so late to this post but you’ve articulated everything so well and i completely agree with you!!
aw thank you!!
This is such a different and welcoming perspective putting into words what I have always felt. It is so hard to make some see this different angle "Is it really a choice if one's living is depended on it?"
Thank you!